Cleaning and Stress

So I started cleaning today.

It's more of a ritualistic purging type thing. I do it when I'm stressed. By the way I've been cleaning off and on for the last couple of months, well it's more like years. It's still not clean. It's creepy what you find when you aren't searching.

Letters, pictures, clothing, books, toys, anything. I don't throw away much of anything I just file it away in some new filing system, plus as an Art major I keep everything. I start and stop projects more often than Paris can say "photo op."

I'm not a slacker, I'm stressed which causes me to clean the things that I can't finish. Ironic.

Between the trying to get back into school, work drama, spending issues, man/boy drama and the all important family pressures it seems like cleaning should be the least of my worries. I do it because it's easier than dealing with the actual stuff.

Stuff like why I can't actually finish or follow through on this school thing. I'm a pretty darn good artist, was a great student in high school, but I always walk in to a new school thinking oh boy your going to fail and what are mom and dad going to say. "Oh look your brother and sister have made another scrapbook moment over there why can't you? Not to mention those 2 are actually friends." It's not that direct but it might as well be. I love my family and friends they are super supportive but the first time I went to school I stressed myself out being the super achiever, athlete, and all are good preppy good girl. Guess what that got me? A trip to the hospital for dehydration and exertion. I feel you Lindsay. It happens and it scares me. Well I'm trying again in the fall so here goes nothing but I promise I won't over do it...... right.

The work stuff is a just that a work in progress. When I took the job it was with the understanding that I was only staying a 2 years tops. Now I think it's going to kill me. They are cutting back hours do to the slow buying season and what not. This is not acceptable. I would have stayed at the other job which was thirty times worse but they offered me a position with a better salary and more responsibility. Well my pay hasn't changed due to some "error", sometimes I don't get my check on time and I don't really think I belong there. The people I work with are so different than me. It's not a bad different, just not me. I feel like I've changed to fit in. Well I pulled out my resume last night and touched up and it's up on Monster already.

We'll see.

My favorite quote is "I excercise to stay chubby!"

I used to envy those really hungry girls asking the sales associate for a 2 or even a 0 because the size 4 jeans that she tried on were too big. I don't envy them anymore I'm just kind of scared of them. Think about it what in gods name fits into a size 2 or even a zero. I guess she found some jeans that fit her because I saw her buying a few pairs of jeans as I looked for a bigger top so my boobs didn't look squished.

Hey cookies are good and Coronas are not fat free so the idea of me becoming a size like that is insane. Have fun and nibble I say.

So as the new year started and a couple of really toned and smiling models were looking at me from the covers of my favorite magazines, I figured "Why not?" Why not drop a couple of pounds and get into the bathing suit of my dreams without rocking the sarong or soffees. Not to mention the fact that I decided to return to my summer positon and play at being "Lars" at the lake screaming "Buddy Check!" Hey at least I'll look good from the bottom down. I've never had problems feeling self concious of my top half. Tay has actually told me I should share the wealth.

Not gonna happen!

I love my body.... well actually I like my body and on some days I love my body. Those days are when the size 2 girls with no cleavage wonder if I've bought mine or if they are natural. By the way they're real. Overall I'm a pretty curvy girl but I know that I'm in decent enough shape to keep up with 40 ten year old girls at a sports camp. I love hearing "your so lucky but you'd be even hotter if you lost some weight. I think it's so funny when people tell I'd be so gorgeous if I lost some weight. The worst part of that is they insist they aren't being offensive. Silly people have a Corona and some chips and salsa and relax.

I'm not stressing about it so why are you? How exactlly is it effecting you?

Answer that.

"The Sure Thing" VS "A Sure Thing"

"The Sure Thing" VS "A Sure Thing"

So are you "The Sure Thing" or "A Sure Thing" ask yourself this question before you head out on to the town.  Hey this is very important to know because ladies your taking your personal lifee into your own hands everytime you step foot into the world.

We've all been there your out with the girls on a Firday night and a few guys walk in who make everyone in the room stop and stare.  The boys walk up to the bar and scope the room looking for their next kill and as you smile you perfect smile and continue chatting with the girls as if you wern't interested.  They start walking and it always looks as if they are heading towards you but of course they keep on walking to the corner where some overly done, and overtly done up girls are preening.  They look too tanned, too highlighted, and there is way too much cleavage in the corner.  Of course they'll smile smugly at you as they walk out with them in the palm of their hands.   

Foiled again by the skank!  They are a creature so well known and feared by man and woman.  They are known to travel in packs, dress well but light.  You can usually hear them complaining of cold due to limited amounts of clothing.  Warning, do not assume they are stupid, they are a crafty bunch.

Just because you went out on Friday night and no one checked you out does not mean you aren't hot.  It just means they are looking for someting else.  Something quick, easy and painless and free.  Hey they didn't ahve to buy that girl dinner and movie, maybe just one mediocre $10 Cosmo.

Don't be upset it's really not you it's them.  The search isn't for a girlfriend it's for a girl, any girl.  You may have been overlooked because you are just too fine and classy.  Let it go!  Don't go home and wait for Saturday night so you can pull out your skank wear from the back of your closet and get some.  It's not worth it because Sunday morning when you roll over and have to figure out how to get out, and still keep your digninty intact.  This all probablly means you aren't going on a first date.  That's right I said first date because you never had one to begin with and now that he's had you he has no incentive to wine and dine you. 

Be the classy, sassy, smart girl that you and your parents are so proud of.  Indulge in a little retain therapy a sassy girl could always use a new designer bag or pair of shoes.  All right sometimes it takes 2 pairs of shoes to boost your ego.